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Top 7 tips: dating again after being a long-term single

Dating can be a scary enough prospect at any stage of life, but a particularly large dose of courage is needed when you’re dipping your toe in the water following the breakup of a long-term relationship or a prolonged spell as a singleton.

You might feel like a fish out of water, wondering whether you want to put yourself through the minefield of dating all over again. As one Reddit user, who found himself single shortly after turning 40, put it: “I don't have a clue what I'm doing out there any more.”

Fortunately for him, his Internet buddies were on hand with some forthright tips for how he – and anyone else suffering a bout of nerves – can overcome their fears and embark on the crazy adventure of finding love.


“Be patient with yourself. Maybe you're just not ready. When someone pretty great comes along, you will be ready. But you have to be willing to try and fail, before you feel like you get awfully lucky again.”


"The best thing that one can do when rebounding back from a bad breakup is developing their life again. Unfortunately, a lot of people feel like they ‘lose’ themselves when entering a serious relationship. Part of bounding back is getting back in touch with the things about life that you love and enjoy. That's the first step to building confidence, establishing who you are as a person, and coincidentally, finding others who have similar interests to you.”


"The main thing to remember is to be patient and be available. By available, I mean to look pleasing and approachable. Don't walk around looking bitter. Smile. Speak when you make eye contact with someone. Little things like that make progressing a conversation much easier; and a good conversation could lead to an exchange of contact info, or even better, a request for a date!”


"Finding a hobby is really one example of a bigger philosophy; do stuff for yourself, not to find a mate. If you go into something looking for love you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. That's why going to a bar or club looking for a date is stressful and for many unsuccessful. But going to an activity just for fun or personal betterment you get to, you know, do something fun and better yourself. But more, you are having fun and project your best on others. No pressure looking for someone, you're just trying to learn how to bake or whatever. This actually can make you more attractive to others too.”


"Remember: sometimes it's okay to be afraid – it doesn't mean you're not ready.”


"Start by loving yourself for who you are. This creates confidence, which is attractive. Don't fear rejection. Be friendly and talk to as many people as you can. If you want to go on a date with someone, ask them. If that doesn't work out, ask someone else. Eventually you stop asking because you meet someone you like and you fall in love. It isn't complicated, but it isn't easy either.”


“Figure out what you need in a partner to be happy. Not your wants. Your needs for you to have a successful relationship. For example, I need someone who is a really good communicator. Someone who is direct. Someone very affectionate. Someone who wants to be a stepfather. Someone who is confident and secure with himself. Someone who has been through a tough life experience too. Someone who easily expresses his feelings. Someone incredibly kind."

To find out how Flame Introductions can help you back to romance after a long spell of single life, get in touch today

Sources: Quora/Reddit/Lemon Vibe 

Image: PicJumbo.com


Author: Rebecca

Rebecca lives in London with her husband, daughter and dachshund. She hopes her dating blogs for Flame Introductions will inspire you to seek out the best London and UK locations for brilliant dates, and discover some tips along the way to help you find your perfect partner.