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Long distance relationships: how to make them work

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so the saying goes. And contrary to popular belief, long distance relationships can go…well, the distance. But that isn’t to say there won’t be hurdles.

As Spark Of Love launches its UK-wide service, we take a look at some of the expert tips that can keep your long distance love safe in your heart – essential reading for all those up and down the country who are finding romance in the unlikeliest destinations.

Find the right volume of communication. Just because you don’t see each other every day doesn’t mean you have to be chained to your inbox or smartphone. Excessive communication can drain a relationship of energy so strike a healthy balance and stick with it.

Make plans together. Nothing can make the distance feel like an eternity more than not knowing when you’ll next see or speak with your long distance lover, so never part company or conversations without making clear when you’ll next arrange to travel to the other or expect a phone call.

Go on virtual dates. Okay so you can’t see each other as often as you like, but technology makes it possible for you to do things together like never before. Set a reminder for you to both watch a TV show at the same time and talk about it on the phone afterwards; play an online game together; video call one another while out walking in the park; play new music you’ve discovered over Skype. All these can help to normalise the situation and foster attachment.

Enjoy your alone time. In no-distance relationships, partners must have alone time. Even if they live together, it’s important they foster individual friendships, hobbies and spend time separately. If your tendency is to spend all alone time pining for your long distance love, STOP! Use alone time to nurture yourself, knowing that your next visit is just around the corner.

Be open and honest about one another’s schedules. Paranoia and unease can creep in if you give your long distance partner a call only to discover they’re in the middle of a night out with work colleagues and can’t speak. Or if you nip onto Facebook to find they’re checked into some swanky restaurant with their friends. Share plans for the week ahead and commit to the evenings or times you’ll talk, Skype or email.

Don’t forget snail mail (link to love letters blog)! Sure, email and text will help you feel that instant connection, but a handwritten note or postcard can add sparkle to that long distance affair and remind your lover you’re thinking of them outside your scheduled communication slots.

Share the little things. Your talk time is precious sure, but sharing the minutiae of everyday life is part and parcel of the closeness in relationships. Stories about life at the office and conversations had with friends and relatives can foster as much closeness down the wires as the bigger things in life.

Don’t just stick to the communication schedule. A sneaky text at bedtime or on waking lets the other person know you’re more than just a reminder in their diary.

If you’re not a ‘phone’ person you might need to brush up on your conversation skills on the old dog and bone. Get some great tips for having better telephone conversations.

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Author: Rebecca

Rebecca lives in London with her husband, daughter and dachshund. She hopes her dating blogs for Flame Introductions will inspire you to seek out the best London and UK locations for brilliant dates, and discover some tips along the way to help you find your perfect partner.