If you read
the title of this post and imagined you'd have to sign up to a night class in
French conversation, or take out a small mortgage to fund a subscription to
your local florist, you can relax. The language of love is actually a rather
simple one to master, and no irregular verbs or muddled tenses in sight.
according to US marriage counsellor Gary Chapman, whose latest manuscript, The
Five Love Languages, The Secret To Love That Lasts, is based on the theory
that misunderstandings in relationships arise when two partners have different
ways of communicating their love for one another.
board with each others' preferred language, and learning to weave it into your
own, is critical, says Chapman, to your relationship's longterm success.
Thankfully, there are only five languages to learn, so without further ado...
grocery shopping, ringing the metre reading into the gas board, making sure
there's enough petrol in the car... It may not be the stuff of Hollywood
rom-coms, but to the gal or guy who speaks this particular love language, it's
all the proof they'll ever need that you really, genuinely care.
So if your
other half is operating at maximum capacity, offer to share the load, and your
relationship—as well as the amount of time you've to spend together—will
benefit no end. If you sense that your potential partner speaks this particular
language, simply ask what you could do to help them get through a busy period,
and don't shirk on the date-planning front.
If you're a
'shower' rather than a 'teller' when it comes to love, you might be
flabbergasted upon discovering that your partner has been feeling neglected or
even doubting your commitment to him or her.
be because their love language is one of spoken words of affirmation. You can
shower them with red roses and a million kisses, but unless they're accompanied
with a heartfelt "I love you", there could be trouble ahead.
worry—you don't have to become a walking, talking reincarnation of Keats to win over this type
of love linguist; a sloppy text here, a thoughtful message in their birthday
card there—it can go a long way.
noise that keeps distracting you from the latest episode of Love Island or
getting to the next level of Candy Crush? If it's the sound of your
partner huffing and puffing, you're likely dating a quality timer, who wants
your couple time to be, well, just that.
off the TV, put down your phone, and let your other half know you're all his or
hers until the alarm goes off and the kids start demanding breakfast.