“He/she was lovely/sweet/fun/gorgeous/good company, but we just didn’t click...”
If you’ve been on more than your fair share of first dates that never became second dates, you’ve no doubt found yourself offering up just this kind of explanation for your continued single status.
Truth be told, everyone is looking for that certain something to happen, a sign, a feeling, a “just knowing” that this is destined to be more than just a polite, getting-to-know-you coffee. When that spark simply isn’t there, no amount of ticks on your list of partner must-haves is enough. There just has to be a click.
But what if there were something that you, individually, could do to enhance your chances of ‘the click’? That might sound counterintuitive. The click is either there or it isn’t, (pre)determined by the sum of your characters or by destiny (delete as appropriate depending on your universal view). Isn’t it?
Maybe not, theorise Ori and Rom Brafman, psychologists behind the book Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, & Everything We Do. Perhaps the most interesting insight into their explanation for why certain connections ‘click’ while others flounder, is that it often stems from the willingness of one or both parties to demonstrate one particular trait: vulnerability.