elusive component every first dater is looking for: chemistry. Can you magic it
up out of nowhere even with someone who otherwise ticks all the boxes? Probably
not. But if there's even the smallest something brewing between the two of you,
is it worth hanging in there just to see?
possibly. If we had a pound for every time we've heard someone talk about the
chemistry being "there but not quite right", we'd be able to fund an
entire Bonfire Night's worth of sparks for every city in the UK. For just like
chemistry in the lab, not every original concoction leads to periodic
table-like success. Sometimes you have to stick at it, tweaking your
ingredients, examining the reactions and adjusting the bunsen burner
accordingly before you hit upon that magic compound.
that's enough metaphors. How do you actually build up your natural chemistry to
set your union on fire?
All too often, dates can feel like something of a performance. You're so busy trying to put your best self forward that you're failing to show the true 'you' in your most natural form. Try to bring to your date whatever it is that helps you feel most relaxed—a glass or two of your favourite wine, a particular backing track or a favourite location that has a flaming effect on your. Whatever, in short, brings out your best, most authentic self.
We're well aware that there's a fine line to tread with this one. We're not suggesting you lay all your cards out on the table from word go. After all, nobody wants to talk marriage and babies on a first date. But when the time feels right, do be clear, in a non-agressive way of course, about what it is you wish for yourself. After all, if revealing your plans to live abroad, have a large family or have no family at all leads to the other person scarpering as quickly as they possibly can, wouldn't you rather find out sooner than later?