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10 things loved-up Reddit users want you to know before you go on a first date

First dates. For some, they're up there with job interviews and trips to the dentist for a root canal. 

Thankfully, in times of need, there is Reddit—the online forum on every conversation imaginable. Here's what it's most trusted users have to say about finding love. 


1. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON SOMEONE WHO CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND

User Zazzlekdazzle says: Most of the time "mixed signals" means "no". Or, "I don't know what I want and I am a mixed up person, in a mixed up part of my life, or a flake". All of the above indicate that it's often best to move on.


2. A BIT OF LENIENCY IS REQUIRED ON A FIRST DATE

User ALLST6R says: “You're both going to be nervous and you're both going to say stupid things on the first date. Humour those things and don't let them control the date.”


3. GO IN ON EQUAL FOOTING

User actually_im_53 says: “I moaned about someone being out of my league once and [my dad] said 'never assume a man is out of your league, you don't know what his type is'. I've dated and hooked up with guys who are objectively MUCH more attractive than me, so I think he's on to something.”


4. LEAVE YOUR LIST OF 'MUST-HAVES' AT THE DOOR...

User sunset-shimmer- says: “Have a type but use it as guideline and not a rule.”


5. ...BUT DON'T COMPROMISE ON THE STUFF THAT REALLY MATTERS

User NotAFishYouCanCatch says: “When I was dating, I had a hard time finding someone I could stand being around after 3 dates. I wondered to a friend if I was being too picky, and she said ‘No one else is going to be picky for you’.”


6. DON'T TRASH TALK EXES AND BEWARE THE DATE THAT DOES

User thurn_und_taxis says: “People who are less experienced with dating seem to think that complaining about an ex is a great way to imply your loyalty to your current partner. Like, “you don't need to worry about my ex, I hate [her] now!” People with more experience think ahead: is this how you're going to talk about me after we break up? Why do your relationships end so acrimoniously? An ex is someone who meant something to you at one point, however differently you may feel about them now. And in most cases, that should earn them at least enough respect not to bad-mouth them to future partners.”


7. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

User zazzlekdazzle says: “A lot of dating is just ice cream and spaghetti situations, they are both delicious, but not necessarily together. Maybe ice cream needs hot fudge and spaghetti needs meatballs. In other words, don't stick around if you get the feeling things aren't right for you, you don't need a big reason to leave—lots of people are great, just not as a partner for you. Be direct and polite letting someone go, but that is really all you are responsible for. They may beg you for a “reason”, but most of the time, like I said, there really isn't one. Ice cream and spaghetti.


8. FRIENDS FIRST, BENEFITS LATER

User Emily_Starke says: “Treat a first date like making a new friend, try and ignore anything sexual and you'll have a much more relaxed atmosphere. I break this rule with a goodnight kiss so they know I am interested.”


9. DON'T PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT

User SunTzuIsMyFavourite says: “Be yourself. If it doesn't work for them, it won't work for you in the long run, either.”


10. WORK ON YOURSELF BEFORE YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

User zeppelinfromled2 says: “Don't worry about dating until you're content alone. If you're looking to date just to be with someone, you probably shouldn't be looking to date. You should want to be with that person, not just be with a person. Goes doubly if you're recently out of a relationship.”


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Author: Rebecca

Rebecca lives in London with her husband, daughter and dachshund. She hopes her dating blogs for Flame Introductions will inspire you to seek out the best London and UK locations for brilliant dates, and discover some tips along the way to help you find your perfect partner.