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Do these exercises every day and instantly feel happier

You're unhappily single and desperate to meet someone. But being unhappy isn't the way to attract the right sort of love. You know all this, but you also know how hard it is to break the cycle.


So where do you start? Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, swears by these three daily exercises.

1. WHAT AM I GRATEFUL FOR?

Commit to spending two minutes each day for the next 21 days documenting something you’re grateful for. Each day you have to think of something new, and for the best results make it as specific as possible. “I’m grateful for my mother” is less effective than “I’m grateful for my weekly phone call with my mother because we always have a giggle and I feel so uplifted afterwards”. You’re more likely to stick at it if you make yourself accountable for going the distance, so share your 21-day goal with your social media following, or ask a friend to check in with a daily text prompt.

“[This exercise] actually gets the brain stuck in a new pattern of optimism. It works with 4-year-old children and 84-year-old grumpy old men,” Achor tells The Washington Post.

“After 21 days, the hope is, the path of least resistance in the brain tilts toward the habit, rather than away from it. So the hope is, it becomes not just a daily habit but a life habit. It’s really getting people to feel like the change is possible. The habit seems to matter less than the fact that they’ve dedicated time to choose happiness.”


2. CONSCIOUS ACTS OF KINDNESS

“Social connection is not only the greatest predictor of long-term happiness, but is stronger than the connection between smoking and cancer,” says Achor.

And one of the most powerful ways to connect is to reach out, proactively, and in a positive way. Achor suggests making a habit of spending a minute or two each day bestowing the gift of positivity on another – compliment a colleague on his appearance, send a text message telling a friend you appreciate their presence in your life, or tell someone something that’s great about them.

“People who do this not only get great e-mails and texts back and are perceived as positive leaders because of the praise and recognition, but their social connection score is at the top end of the scale.”


3. REPLAY POSITIVE MENTAL MOVIES

For two minutes a day, think about the most positive thing that happened in your life over the previous 24 hours. Replay it in your mind, evoking all your senses to add colour and depth to your ‘mental movie’.

Why does this work? “Because the brain can’t tell the difference between visualisation and actual experience. So you’ve just doubled the most meaningful experience in your brain. Do it for 21 days, your brain starts connecting the dots for you, then you have this trajectory of meaning running throughout life.”


WATCH SHAWN ACHOR DISCUSSING HAPPINESS BELOW.


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Author: Rebecca

Rebecca lives in London with her husband, daughter and dachshund. She hopes her dating blogs for Flame Introductions will inspire you to seek out the best London and UK locations for brilliant dates, and discover some tips along the way to help you find your perfect partner.